Tag Archives | young widow




Here’s a sugary-sweet illustration by Hennie Haworth. Whether you are a Fashionista or a Frugal Fannie, its fun to  wear something that makes us look and feel good. Show off your feminine divine by smelling good, brushing your teeth, and smiling often. You are a mirror for others, so if you’re feeling good, share your goodness with others. They need it.

One of my favorite dresses, that gives me that fun and flirty-cupcake-feel-goodness, is this 70s dress I got from a local thrift store for $20 (I die! Watch out Rachel Zoe!).

I got it for a Halloween costume last year, but I wish I could wear it more often. It’s truly fantastic! And I barely fit into it, totally zipping up some skin in the back! It’s flowy and silky. I feel so posh and Hollywood with it on. I wore it earlier this year, when my awesomely talented and creative friend Valentine took me to the Opera, to see Samson and Delilah. However it is one of the dresses that ultimately should be paired with a tall, handsome tango dancer. Wink Wink!


Do you have a dress or outfit that makes you feel like a queen? It oozes fun and confidence? Tell me about it.

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This will be my second Thanksgiving without Tim.

And I’m so thankful even in my loss. I feel so lucky, to have shared my life with such a funny, zestful and honest man. His spirit still thrives within me. I catch myself smiling at something he might say now, instead of crying. And I’m so blessed and honored for the time we did have together. He was truly a gift to my life.

I’m also thankful for God. He’s given me peace and love during this confusing, lonely, and emotional year and a half. Because of God, I’m more calm and confident in what the future will bring. That he’s got my back. That every day is a gift from him. That I can’t change this loss, but I can look at what’s good in my life today and the good memories from my past.

I thank him especially too for creating the oceans, trees, waterfalls, animals, mountains, my favorite turkish latté and butterscotch pudding from my fave local restaurants (hah!) and all the amazing people in my life.

I’m so excited for the opportunities to come, the good times to be had and my next soul mate that will come into my life. That I need to be patient with this journey, too.

And I’m so thankful for my friends and family. You have brought joy, energy, genuine advice, and good memories. It’s no mistake that the friends that have come into my life this past year were for a reason.

And I’m also thankful for my dog Oliver. His wiggly butt and hopping around always cracks me up. His energy is contagious!

My suggestion for those of you going through a loss or tough time, is to calm your heart– to pray,  meditate, journal or rest. Don’t over think what you can’t control or change. To remember the precious memories, how you can learn from them, grow from them, and that they’ll always be treasured in your heart. To share this day with good people, eat well, and a good ‘ol dance party always helps too!

And for those that need some music to put them in a good mood, this song is perfect!

Lots of love, hugs and blessings to you during this Thanksgiving holiday. 

Wonderful artwork by Gina & Matt Triplett. They are one of my favorite illustrators, their work is organic and textural. Enjoy.

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Our wedding day

Today I will celebrate what would have been our sixth-year wedding anniversary. This day is bittersweet for me. It doesn’t hurt from the depths of my soul, like last year, but I mis him, still wish I could bring Tim back, so I could wrap my arms super tight around him, give him a long kiss and hear his laugh.

I’m farther along on this new chapter, but my love for Tim will endure until I see him again. I am so excited for that day. And I know he is too. I actually imagine our meeting in heaven to be like this above photo. I might look older, heavier, and with more wrinkles, but this is my vision.

Because our marriage and love was so strong, I’ll be celebrating and honoring Tim today. I loved being his wife, and I know he loved being a husband. We both have parents that are still together and we joked that the only thing that would separate us would be death. And God knows why this marriage was cut short.

To celebrate our wedding day, I’m going to take Ollie for a good beach run and pamper myself. I was organizing things and found a gift certificate our friends/neighbors had gifted to us for a “couples” massage. Tim had helped them with their wedding reception, he did their food and coordinated things, etc.

I decided this is what the universe telling me to do. After I take Ollie for his run and clean him up, I’ll go to the spa and celebrate our “couples” massage by myself, but with him in spirit. And I’ll do other rituals to honor and show my love.

My heart smiles remembering this day and Tim. I thank Tim for asking me to be his wife. I feel so blessed to have had a 8 robust years together. Just wishing I could change the circumstance.

Tim’s life serves as a reminder to us to take big bites out of life, to give it our best effort and embrace the opportunities, to enjoy being in the moment.

And I don’t know if I’ll ever meet anyone so honest. He would say things that everyone was thinking but scared to, but how he said things made the difference. You always knew his intention came from genuine love.

As I celebrate today, I’m also stretching my heart. Because I’m ready and open to find new love. And I know Tim doesn’t like me being alone and I hope he’s guiding things for my next mate.

And instead of being sad and frustrated at this circumstance I can’t change, I’d like to share photos from our wedding day. This day was one of the best ever. I was so calm and relaxed, just so ready and eager to spend the rest of my life with Tim. The beautiful part about weddings is that they bring so many great friends and family together. I’m so happy to have shared this day with so many people we both love.

And that’s the one thing I’ve learned going through this journey. That we all need love. The love from our family, friends and our soul mate is the only thing we really need. And it’s the only thing that carries on after we pass, not physical objects.

Enjoy the photos and memories. Lots of love and hugs to all and especially to my shugar, Tim. xoxo

wedding date


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Keep Your Head Up

I went up to LA with my gal Jill to see Ben Howard in concert. If you haven’t heard about Ben, check out this cool “Frame of Mind/ An Open Mind” video Rob Machado did for Dragon Alliance, with Ben’s “The Wolves” song. Ben’s music is really calming but also energetic. He has a way of starting slow and serious, then turning it up and jamming out. He’s got a huge following, the audience was singing every word, and almost to the point that it overpowered his voice. But Ben and his band love to perform and share what they love to do and it was electric and contagious. He’s not religious or gospel, but his lyrics and music are deep, personal and powerful. I left the concert singing his song “Keep Your Head Up” (as the art above shows) over and over in my head.

Here’s a few photos I took with my iPhone.

Ben Howard

Ben Howard

Another interesting thing I wanted to share, was this cool music and design site called DesignersMX. It’s a fun site filled with various music mixes and cool design. The image above and below are from this site. Go check it out and get inspired.


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sunset summa

My sister Melissa and her boyfriend, Marty, were just in town a few weeks ago. We had such a blast. Beach time and eating at my favorite restaurants (Hawaiian lunch plate, seasonal comfort food, brick-oven pizza, salted caramel crème brulée, and tasty IPA’s). Delicious!

I also took them to my  favorite spot to catch sunsets, near the town library. Here’s some bits from the visit and enjoy your weekend peeps!

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