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SECOND ANNIVERSARY IN HEAVEN

tim-anniversary

I just got back from a 4-day Sedona retreat. It was a spiritually deep and fun adventure in some of Sedona’s most sacred and visually stunning locations and trails that most don’t know about. I met 13 other like-minded genuine souls of various ages that have become new life-long friends.

One of the most important parts of the trip, was that I was also able to scatter Tim’s ashes in sacred Apache Native American land. I knew that this was a significant part for me to let go and allow us to move forward in our lives. That we both need to serve, but in different dimensions. I have felt his love, protection and strength with me these past few years, but it’s now up to me to open my heart fully to allow for new love. I’m ready and I look forward to meeting someone amazing. Being Tim’s wife was truly an honor and my time with him was the best of my life. Though, I know God has plans that are unseen to me now.

What was crazy as right after I scattered his ashes, the moon peeked up, and then I saw a rainbow flash in the dark night sky. Not joking!! Carissa, our retreat spirit guide, told me that Tim would show me a rainbow during this trip. And I can’t tell you how explosive it was to see a rainbow in the dark moon-lit sky. Just shows you how powerful an angel Tim is, and I know God is helping work this magic too.

It was such an honor to be given permission to scatter on this land that used to be a vast ocean with whales, dolphins and other abundant marine life. It was a whole-heartedly healing process. I do feel that this trip has given more wisdom and strength.

I know that time will be needed to process the trip and integrate that “stillness” of Sedona into the daily grind of life. I’m glad to be back and to honor Tim at home today. I’ll share more of my Sedona trip photos later.

With today being Tim’s second anniversary in heaven, I wanted to share some handwritten notes I found that you would enjoy. Some of his notes are great nuggets of wisdom. Let’s celebrate a warrior and unstoppable soul who is having such a blast up in heaven. He is in all of our hearts forever. All my love to you shugar. And I’ll end with a word we used during the trip to continue during our hikes… ONWARD.

 

tim-note-01

tim-note-02

This note was written during Tim’s first trip to meet my family in New Jersey in 2003. He proposed in January 2005, and then we married in October 2006. We were together 8 years and married for 4.5 years.

 

 

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DON’T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF

pencils-amanda-catherine-etsy

For those that don’t know me well. I’m a Virgo. Have you ever read its description? We aren’t the most fun and interesting horoscope sign. This funny site, takes a twisted turn on defining Virgos, but you can get a sense on what I mean:

 

You are the logical type and hate disorder.
This nitpicking is sickening to your friends.
You are cold and unemotional and often
fall asleep while having sex.
Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

 

Sounds sexy and exciting, huh? Wow, bus driver and pimp. Thought you’d enjoy this description too. And no, this isn’t how we really are…

Well, because of my Virgo-ness of being über perfectionist, I tend to be über harsh on myself. I have high expectations for myself (not others) and I sometimes forget how far I’ve really come.

Because I’m right in the trenches of redesigning my life— strategizing and creating my own studio business, working on a few new awesome client campaigns, dating and trying to find love again, spending quality time and exercising Oliver and co-leading graphic design ministry— my plate is full. And I can overwhelm myself with all these tasks, my expectations for every bit of them, and trying to race to the finish line. And instead I need to ask myself these two important statements:

1) How grateful I am for myself

2) To know what I have accomplished (today, this week, month, year)

 

I thought that maybe you needed to hear this bit of wisdom too. To not be so hard on yourself. That the we need to be more grateful to ourselves. That we are creatively unique. That you are so worth it. And that life is a process. That we are ready for checking things off our lists, accomplishing big goals, and overcoming major tasks. But the more we rush and burden ourselves with doing so much in such a short time, it causes the opposite effect – we can overwhelm ourselves. That it causes burnout. Doubt. Fear. Judgement. Pain. Regret. Anxiety. Stress. Disease. Death.

Let’s try to be kinder, gentler to ourselves. To be proud of who you are. To see the beauty in the mess of life. To see failures as a source of blessing, humbling us and giving us empathy. To enjoy being comfortable with permanently being uncomfortable. That we are all a work in progress. To be present and full of intention. To see the truth of what each moment teaches us. And to let go of “perfect.”

Photo above from here

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PRAYERS FOR BOSTON

delovelyarts-boston-heart

 

Sending deep prayers and compassion for those in Boston. What an insane surprise attack. I turned on the TV and saw the drama blasted on all the news channels. I was in shock, as I’m sure all of you are in. A day of triumph and athleticism transformed into darkness. Can’t believe it.

This attack certainly wiped away all the silly load of things I was juggling and stressing about today. Tragedy has a way of surprising us with the evil in the world. My thoughts have been with all those affected and all those in Boston who are completely shaken up by this and still what’s unknown to come next. I don’t understand how and why these senseless acts of violence continue to occur to harmless, good people. But all I can do is pray and hope that authorities will figure this out soon. xoxo

 

Artwork above by DeLovely Arts.

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HAPPY VALENTINE’S LOVELIES

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For those that aren’t  matched up with someone today (and c’mon dogs, cats, and other animals are included but NOT the same!), please remember that YOU ARE SO LOVED.

It took me awhile to really have that INNER love for myself. It’s easy to take care of your exterior self— you can put on a nice outfit, get a good haircut, etc. But to truly have and feel inner love and confidence, is much harder and takes work. Yep, I’m still a work in progress.

And you can’t compare yourself with others. Just love what you’ve got! I’ve realized this, and once you let go of all your inner voices telling you other nasty things, it is quite awesome and amazing. In fact, you will be much calmer, stronger and happier. And doesn’t that look sexy?

And what are my plans? I’m actually going to a “single” mingle event tonight. I know, it’s kinda silly and cheesy. But why the heck not? I’m feeling flirty and Mr. Soulmate isn’t knocking on my door. And I’m actually more excited about my weekend plans with my “soul” sister Dana – wine, mani/pedis, comedy show, talking about men, life and lots of laughing.

Enjoy these creative bits from the book, You Are So Loved by Chronicle Books.

you-are-so-loved-collage

 

Happy Valentine’s and enjoy today! What do you have planned today or this weekend? xoxo

Image sources: We Are Alive / We Are All Apart of the Same Thing / I Can’t Do This / Magic

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VISION FOR 2013

 

Visionboard 2013

For me, 2013 really feels like a new beginning.

So I realize most people talk about resolutions in January. Then February comes and it’s like… what resolutions. Ehhh.

BUT, for me. I’m so amped up for 2013. I’m ready for this year. Ready to make things happen. That sense of sooo many things at once. Part joy. Part fear. So many things I want to do and accomplish.

Last year was an intense and confusing year on my own. Trying to figure out myself and this new journey. Who I was. What I was meant to do. What path or paths I should take. I was depressed. I was overwhelmed. I was ready to slow down and have peace in my heart.

That I was letting my past prevent me from healing and MOVING FORWARD. To take responsibility for doing the creative best in my own life. Here’s two ways I’ve kickstarted my year.

 

Fun + inspiring exercises to supercharge things for 2013:

1) Create a vision board

> Grab magazines

> Cut out photos and words that represent what you and things you want to happen for 2013

> Resolutions, goals, etc of what you want to manifest this year

> Collage all these things together

> Display this vision board artwork so you will see it everyday.

The above image is my vision board. In December, I sat down to create my vision for 2013. I was so ready for a new start. My goal for this year is this circle of happiness — to balance career, life and love. To find my second soul mate. To work on creative and fulfilling projects. Go to interesting places. Create a community that empowers. When I feel confused or doubt myself, this vision board serves as a good inspiration to stay focused. To not lose faith in myself and to have patience with timing.

 

2) Next, choose a word

– Something to ignite and represent your vision for this year

– I got this idea via Susannah Conway. See her blog for more insight and ideas

 

Vision word 2013

 

My word is flirt. I chose this for its playful approach. I want to be brave and open-minded this year as I flirt (maybe dance) into different arenas of my life — leading my design business, transforming my home, meeting new people, learning new skills, taking care of my health, and having fun.

So what’s your vision and/ or word for 2013? I’d love to hear from you.

 

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