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I wanted to thank all of you that made last week less difficult. From all the flowers, lil gifts, cards, texts and emails they all meant so much. You all were my angels and I felt your love. You got me through this lil bump.

I wanted to share the musician that really moved my soul on Valentine’s. I went to a yoga class with my girl Fall and Steve Gold performed during the entire session. His music is sweet and relaxing. And he moved me so much, I had a pretty hard cry.

His song, “So much magnificence” really reminded me of Tim. The lyrics to the song are very simple, but its a 7 minute song. Here’s the lyrics:

There is so much magnificence
near the ocean
Waves are coming in
Waves are coming in

Have a listen to it here (its song #3) Steve Gold | So Much Magnificence

I actually got so choked up while Steve was playing this song during the closing meditation of the class, that I was trying not to be too loud, so that I wouldn’t ruin everyone’s peaceful quiet time!

And for those of you that know Tim, the ocean was Tim’s playground. Hearing those lyrics, especially on Valentine’s, was bittersweet. I pictured Tim during this song, at the water’s edge wearing his wetsuit, as if he was coming out of the water after a good surf session. And I did feel some sort of presence from Tim. So much so, that it felt like he squeezed my right hand to let me know its okay. It was a good deep cry, and I’m glad that my emotions were able to release those tears.

Tim always had a blast in the ocean. Even if the waves weren’t “epic” he always managed to have a good time. Always making the best of the surf conditions, always feeling stoked and refreshed afterwards. I always loved to see Tim and his best friend Mike surf together too.

So, I’d like to share some of my favorite shots of Tim surfing. There’s so many, but here’s a few of my favorites. And as Tim and Mike would say… Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeebrahhhh!

photo by Eric Watanabe
photos by Greg Williams taken at Tippers.
From our honeymoon in Maui. 
I love you with my whole heart Tim! 
To listen to Steve Gold’s newest CD, have a listen here: Steve Gold | Let Your Heart Be Known.
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Some of you have heard this before. So I apologize if you’re tired of hearing this one!

It was Saturday, February 15, 2003.

It was a friend’s birthday. So myself and 3 other girlfriends decided to hit up a local music venue to celebrate. We first went to the restaurant next door and ordered drinks.

After we were seated the server informed us that the restaurant was closing so if we wanted anything to eat, we’d better place our orders. We weren’t hungry so we continued catching up and enjoying our tasty drinks.

Then, another guy comes to the table. (it’s Tim!). I think he’s another server, since he’s in jeans and a t-shirt.

Again, tells us the kitchen is closing and to find out if we wanted anything to eat. So, I tell him, we’d be up for a dessert. I love dessert!

So he brings out  dessert. It’s cheesecake. And tells us that its his Aunt Joan’s famous recipe cheesecake. It’s delicious. Never was a fan of cheesecake. But this was SOME cheesecake.

So… few minutes pass, and we’ve pretty much devoured the cheesecake. And Tim comes back to check in on us. Asks how’s the cheesecake. And we’re all smiling and raving about it.

So, he pulls up a chair and strikes up lots of conversation. He’s totally genuine. And find out he’s a chef. (Hmm… so that got my attention. He’s handsome and… a handsome guy that can cook. Nice!)

He chats with all of us— talks about surfing, travelling, politics (yeah, politics!), and various things.

It was the first time in a long time that I was kinda smitten.

Felt that I had to ask this guy out.


After he left the table, I’m all giddy, and tell the gals that I’m going to ask him out. And they’re like “Oh yeah… he’s soo into you… do it.”

So, our server comes back and I drill him about Tim… does he have a girlfriend? Is he a player? Server tells me he’s single and definitely not a player.

So… I give my biz card to the server to give to Tim.

{ And then this is Tim’s side of the story: Tim gets the card and thinks the card is from my friend. Tells the server he’s not interested. And then the server’s like, no, its the blonde. And Tim’s goes, ok, yeah, she’s cute. }

So… Tim comes back into the restaurant. Jokes and tells me that I probably do this all the time. Then, he guides me over to the huge calendar, for the concert schedule at the venue next door. And we pick out when we’ll go on our date.

And so we hang out the rest of the night. He gives me a tour of  the concert venue backstage, where Erykah Badu, Etta James, and all the other musicians have hung out before their performances.

That was a night to remember. Can’t believe it was 9 years ago.

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Next Tuesday and Wednesday (Valentine’s and anniversary of meeting Tim will another “First.” (first Valentine’s without him/ First anniversary of when we met without him). I’ve been teary these past few days driving into work.

So stoked to have met Tim, but these “firsts” are always the reality check of this new life.

I’m going to end and leave you with this note that I got from Martha Beck, a famous writer/contributor to Oprah Magazine and speaker that I met back in December at the TEDX conference. I asked for her autograph and this is what she gave me. I cried after she gave this to me. It gives me comfort, courage and strength. And perhaps for you too.

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