Tag: share

TIM SNOWBOARDING

A week or so after Tim had passed I found this video on my laptop.

I have to tell you the first time I saw this my heart sank, as Tim’s voice yells out in the first seconds of this. It’s awesome to hear but also so heartbreaking. But it’s typical Tim, and I’m so blessed to have this amazing video.

And I’ve watched this enough times to be proud and honored to share this with you.

This is from 3 or 4 years ago, when Big Bear Mountain had a pretty good dumping of snow, and it documents mainly Tim cruising down the mountain. I’m amazed at how Scott was able to film and snowboard at the same time. Its a bit long, but its a great way to see Tim in action on the mountain. And you’ll see Tim’s big smile, completely stoked and having so much fun. And I think that’s why I love this video so much.

His ability to capture the day and genuinely live it up. And his energy was so contagious. Those are some of his best qualities and things I miss. I miss so many more things, but everyone that knew Tim, knows what I mean, and misses these qualities too.

Watching this video also reminds me of the great times Tim and I had snowboarding together. And he was so good at snowboarding that it forced me to get better with it quickly, so that I could cruise with him, instead of falling so much. I love how this video makes you feel like you’re with Tim.

Thank you Scott for documenting and sharing this with me. You and Tim had some great memories together, and I know this one brings a smile to your heart also.

We miss you Tim, but we know you are up in heaven with happiness everywhere. And perfect snowboarding conditions and jumps that would make us all hoot and holler for yah.

With all my heart, love & miss you shugar!! xo

March 12, 2012
TEDx GARDEN DANCE

Here’s a sneak peek of my night with the lovely garden goddesses from a few weeks ago. I helped them cater a TEDx bootcamp speaker event. We had a blast, as you can see here. And met some fabulous peeps. More to follow…

March 7, 2012
CHANGING ACCOUNT NAMES

I accomplished a big item on my list today.

I finally switched the account name on our utilities from Tim’s to mine.

I started this task, like I start most of these tricky tasks: I took a deep breath. I was doing pretty good, calling most of them, getting the task completed, until I talked with the last one, my cable provider. Here’s how that call went:

Cable Provider: Hello, how can I help you?

Me: Hi, yes, I’d like to change the name on my account from my husband’s name to mine.
He’s passed away, so I’d like to switch the name to mine.

C: Yes, ok. I’m so sorry.

Me: Ah thank you.

* * * * * She changes the information, verifies the numbers and then * * * * *

C: I just want to say how sorry I am for your loss.

Me: (A bit trembly) Yes, thank you.

C: You sound very young. And I’m just really sorry.

Me: (Long pause and a bit more trembly, and I just want to end this call ASAP!) Yes, thank you.

After the call ended, I immediately had a good deep cry. I prayed to God and asked for his strength. And walked into the other room and gave Oliver a good hug. Then, I walked outside and let the sunshine dry the tears and sadness.

Although, changing your name on the utilities is a task that needed to be done and is the right thing to do, it was another reality and finality that Tim’s not here with me, and that I’m on my own. That I have to take responsibility and ownership for my life and the life and things we shared.

I realize the empowerment of being the “woman” of the house, but its this strange new territory of not choosing this situation. And making the best of being in this situation. That although I’m “removing” his name from the utility bills, IT DOES NOT mean I’m removing him from my heart or my life. That it’s just a stupid account name, and it’s my checks that pay the bills now, not Tim’s.

The “you sound very young” comment. Also hit me deep. Why did she have to go there?

Yes, I am young. (I look like I’m in my twenties, but I’m 34). And was Tim very young, too.

But this is my reality. And all I can do is trust in the universe and be so grateful and blessed that everything is going to be alright.

One of things that I realized after this good cry, was that sometimes life puts us in struggling situations, but we can get through it. To not let the sadness or to let “being a widow” take ownership of me.

Before I signoff, I wanted to share a poem from another TEDX speaker I saw in December, Sekou Andrews. Loved this guy. His energetic and powerful performance and message gave us all a jolt to the conference. He speaks from the heart and enjoys sharing his knowledge of living happy and purposefully. Here is the part from his speech, that gives me strength and hope:

We CAN.

We are ABLE .

We WILL.

We MUST.

That all that matters is that your HEART has the power.

Thank you for reading and enjoy your weekend!

March 2, 2012
BUSY LIL BEE

I’ve been busy as a bee doing an assortment of different things.

I helped my friends cater a TEDx bootcamp event, went to a movie all by myself (this was a goal of mine), and attended a “real marriage” conference (I’ll share why I went and what I learned).

I’m also in the process of scanning photos of my favorite Tim adventures and having fun with a new freelance project for a fashionista I met from ALT.

I’ve been wondering where the time has gone, but feeling so blessed for all this variety and discovery.

March is also Tim’s birthday month, so lots of great memories to be shared soon.

Also, I stumbled upon this fantastic designer/illustrator, Matthew Kavan Brooks. Love his stuff. Great quotes. And completely engaging typography and design. You can also see and buy more of his work here.

This one caught my eye immediately. As a widow, (or perhaps someone going through a loss, or maybe there’s some sort of rock in life’s path) the saying “just taking things day by day” is so true. Sometime’s life can be so challenging, sometime’s taking it minute by minute is the best one can have hope for. However, I think allowing ourselves to relish and enjoy that minute, that day, or that moment for all that’s possible, we can really enjoy and honor that hope and strength. We can’t stop time, but we can enjoy life slowly, minute by minute, if that’s what it takes. Until we get so busy living we forget how fast the time really flies.

March 1, 2012
SHARE + INSPIRE + EMPOWER

I had a bunch of ideas for today’s post (sourcing all my favorite things to give loved ones etc), but my heart just didn’t have the energy. And honestly, seems that when I’ve just let my fingers type (or when I’m driving in my car) and letting my thoughts flow and dance, is when it seems to come from my heart and gives me the most clarity, which is why I’m doing this blog.

But here’s a lil somethin’ somethin’ for Valentine’s Day that I found from Friends of Type blog. These guys are killer with type. And I visit their blog often for inspiration. And this quote is timeless.

It’s amazing how one’s heart will guide you, not your eyes, your sense of touch or even your brain. When you do/ say/ feel what intuition guides you to, it’s pretty powerful. “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). The voice of that purest light of yourself telling you what to do. Meditation is another wonderful way to engage in that stillness and open your heart to this or His guidance too.

Well that’s it… I hope your day is filled with chocolates (I’m thinking the really good kind, like dark chocolate with caramel and sea salt!).

February 14, 2012