On My Own Blog

Tag: memories

  • HAPPY LABOR DAY WEEKEND

    onmyown-bepatientHappy Labor Weekend peeps!

    I’m sorry it’s been 2 full months or so since I’ve posted. I’ve focused on building my business and working on some killer clients and haven’t had time to blog. Feeling exhausted, beat down, overwhelmed, anxious, frustrated and realizing that I need to incorporate more balance. More time to honor and cherish myself. So this holiday weekend is perfect timing!

    And today I’m feeling a huge wave of love and gratitude. Maybe because my birthday is on Sunday and there’s this celebratory vibe in the air.

    Anyhoots, here’s a lil bit of love I’ve created above for you. When life gets hectic and uncontrollably overwhelming, remind yourself of this message above.

    Sounds simple and too basic??

    When you trust and have faith in something beyond yourself, you know that before good change can happen, things are usually CRAY CRAY. Be receptive during this CRAY CRAY. You probably don’t realize that life is handing you this mess so that you can see the way THROUGH it. To power through the struggle because there are wonderful lessons within it.

    Yep. I know it takes time.

    And its not easy.

    But you are so loved through all of it.

    Unconditionally. 24/7. 365 days a year.

    You are awesome.

    So… with that, have an awesome weekend and relax!

    I’ve got friends coming into town and we are celebrating my 36 years in this world tomorrow night. I’m totally blessed and grateful for such beautiful and amazingly great friends and my family and friends that won’t be able to join in, but be there with me fully in spirit. And my soul sisters are my family, they really push and guide me to be what I sometimes can’t see in myself.

    Hugs + High-fives, Michelle

     

     

     

  • 2012 YEAR IN REVIEW

    Julie Goldstein

    This has been a big and profound year for me. The thick, intense “widow fog” has dissolved.

    This year was about becoming more present and moving forward without Tim. You can’t avoid grief. You have to go through it.

    It was full of emotional happy highs and lonely, deep lows. But I realized that I wasn’t completely “on my own.”  That my faith in God is true, and he’s been here with me this whole time. It was also a year filled with healing and transformation.

     

    Here are 4 words that sum up my year:

    01. Connection – Forming friendships with several strong, spiritual, and confident women that really helped me grow “on my own” and believe in myself. Fall, Hayley, Dana, Jill and Sorrel. You ladies have been my rock. I love you so much and I can’t tell you how much your soul sisterhood has meant to me.

    02. Faith – I been more vocal about my beliefs. I’ve been wary of sharing my faith, but I’ve realized that I shouldn’t be fearful to share what it means to me, and the reason why I’m optimistic and curious for what the future holds. I believe in love and God gave me that love. He took my soul mate from my arms. But I don’t blame God. All I can do is have faith that there was a reason he needed Tim up in heaven. And that God is counting on me to recognize his purpose for my life. That I need to take responsibility for living and not dwelling on the sadness. The medium session I had in April was profound – getting messages from both Tim and God gave me clarity on my new journey. I highly recommend seeing a medium to help connect with your loved one.

    03. Slowing down – Grief is very fatiguing. And I think in today’s world, we try to accomplish so many things with high expectations and its usually unfair and unrealistic. First of all, it doesn’t seem like there’s ever the time to grieve. We live in a non-stop, hurry-up, get-it done now, add it to my hotlist, firedrill-kind-of-world that expects microwave results. And how does one fit grief and healing into overloaded schedules? You can’t.

    I didn’t realize how intense grief can be until the evenings and weekends, when things slowed down, and I was alone. With my thoughts. I’d shake and cry so hard, that I finally came to a crossroads. That I needed to take care of myself.

    Quitting my job has allowed me the time to heal my heart, spend time with loved ones, have fun and organically play on my new creative path. Working “on my own” has been rewarding and overwhelming. I’ll share more in my next post.

    04. Rediscovery– Allowing myself to do things I love. That make me happy. Things that I used to enjoy with Tim. Going to new restaurants. Dancing. Going to live music. Traveling. Laughing so hard it hurts. Shopping. Cooking. Helping others. Stepping away from the computer.

    Here’s a look at some of my favorite memories of this year. These photos give me so much hope that 2013 will be even more fulfilling, fun, creative and filled with love. I will never stop missing Tim, but I believe he’s proud of what I’ve accomplished this year.

     

    So, I do have some exciting things planned for 2013. And I will share more with you.

    I also want to thank all of you for following and reading this blog. This has been therapy for me. This is my creative outlet. To share what’s on my mind. What inspires and empowers me. And what gives me hope and delight, as I recreate my life without Tim. My hope is that you will discover that you are worth it. That no matter what your circumstance is, that life really is worth living. That you are awesome. And beautiful. And have great shoes, too! (hah!)

    So I thank you so much for visiting my lil quirky blog. You rock my world.

  • 5 CONSCIOUS CHRISTMAS GIFTS

    This is the time of year when we show the people we love what they truly mean to us.

    Last year’s Christmas was my first without Tim. And I was pretty numb to all the festivities. I had a blast with my family, but I was just ready for Christmas to be over, so that my heartache for Tim wouldn’t be pierced.

    But this year, I’m excited for Christmas and have fully realized the bigger meaning for this time of year, the love I have for my family and friends and that its more important than any object, gift or money. This time is so crazy and busy, we all need to slow down and spend quality time with others.

    Soooo, here’s 5 interesting gifts that are fun, meaningful, conscious and definitely creative:

    1. Foxgram Instagram Photos & Magnets  Here’s a great way to print and share your favorite Instagram memories. Foxgram is a San Diego company and I got my pics in about 2 days. I’m going to create a heart-shaped collage wall with all these photos.

     

     

    2. 31 Bits Jewelry & Bags   I went to the Identity entrepreneur conference in October, and Jessie Simonson, the Director of Sales for 31 Bits gave a heartfelt speech. Beautiful products and mission. They are constantly changing up their designs, so keep them in mind for birthdays, mother’s day, etc.

     

     

    3. Sevenly shirts  Sevenly is a cause and charity shirt company. Every 7 days they create a handcrafted (not computer generated) shirt design for a charity and $7 goes to that charity. You get a one-of-a-kind shirt, and the charity receives much-needed funds AND exposure.

    This company was created by an über talented, heart-centered entrepreneur, Dale Partridge. He’s also the founder of the Identity conference. Follow his twitter account for amazing quotes and daily deep thoughts.

    4. Help Ink printed items  I stumbled on this website somehow. Talented artists that create artwork for posters, mounted prints, notebooks, and stationery. Then, you can choose a cause and Help Ink will make a donation. I’m going to scoop up this Jessica Hische one for myself.

    5. Holiday Cookies  Okay, this gift idea requires baking and cooking. For those that don’t like to do those things, whelp, this one isn’t for you. But check out this site for humorous and tasty recipes. I want to EAT all of these cookies. Anyone want to come over to my place and bake some?!

    How Sweet It is or Two Peas & Their Pod Cookbooks

     

    Merry Christmas and many blessings! xoxo 

  • HAPPY HALLOWEEN

    Here’s a fun memory from Halloween 2008. We had our good neighbor friends— Rod, Emily, Matt and Chris—over to our place for a night of pumpkin carving. My newspaper-covered dining room was covered in pumpkin guts and seeds, and we were laughing and drinking. It was a simple night, but an awesome time.

    Tim, of course, had his bag of tricks—a special set of delicate carving knives and tools that only a chef or wood worker would have— and we weren’t allowed to use! Hah! But even if we had those knives we could have never come up with something so creative.

     

  • TIME FOR ADVENTURE

    It’s officially summer, thanks to the June 20th summer solstice. Time to shalack on the sunscreen, enjoy icy treats and relish in the good times.

    Last summer was quite a blur for me. I was stoked to re-introduce myself to my quaint beachy, surf town, since the previous summers were filled with intense rollercoasters–and not the fun kind at the fair—more like the emotional kind. I was lovingly devoted to being at Tim’s side either at home or in the hospital, or chained to the intense deadlines at work.

    And although I was able to enjoy time at the beach last year, one might think sitting at a beach should bring one happiness, it did in many ways, don’t get me wrong, but at the same time, it filled my heart and mind with so many great memories that I shared with Tim, so it was very sad, numbing, and surreal.

    So this summer, I’m ready to enjoy life again, explore and create some new memories.

    Get the salt in my hair. Spend time with friends (from my past and new ones that I have yet to meet). Barbecues. Outdoor festivals and fairs. Fireworks lighting up the sky. Road trips. And more.

    Enjoying your summertime doesn’t involve lots of money or lots of work. Just the right mindset.

    Thought these few things might inspire your summer agenda too. Above art from here.

    This found here

    This found here

    Enjoy your summer peeps! xoxo