A DAY TO REMEMBER


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It has been more than a year since my last post. My gosh, time has flown!

Today, October 15th, marks a special day in my soul. It’s the day Tim and I got married. And today would have been 8 years we would have been married.

Whew. It’s been quite the journey without Tim here, but he’s in my heart and surrounding me now and then in angel form.

Today, I celebrate our amazing love. Yes, we had hard challenges. Yes, we didn’t always agree. And yes things weren’t always perfect. But it was an awesome true soulmate love. And it was imperfectly perfect. To have our lives be separated through his death, was mind-blowing and body-breaking. But my soul always felt love. My body was weak and my heart was heavy, like an anvil, resting in my core. My mind scattered, and in a fog, numb and dull, as I was living and breathing but not feeling alive. But I allowed myself to rise from the ashes. To see the beauty from where I’ve been and where I’m at.

So, today I honor and celebrate Tim. A man that showed me what a man should be to a woman. A man that cherished and adored me. A man that was honest and confident, not afraid to show his weakness and vulnerability, but able to be strong and bold, that he was able to communicate what was on his mind and heart with realness. A man that was curious and playful. His humor and wit, especially through his cancer pain, revealed his strength and smarts, and his love to make others smile and laugh. And dang, man who was just so darn handsome!

And today I also honor the unconditional and relentless force of love and grace that has guided, carried me and revealed calmness and truth throughout this darkness and mystery. I celebrate and honor God.

I believe I had to master (er, am still mastering, hee-hee!) this lesson of letting go.

You see, that’s the divine plan for all of us, I believe. The art of trusting and surrendering, while remaining relentlessly hopeful and kind throughout our day and each challenge. You see, all of us will die. All of us will have challenges, pain, obstacles, unworthiness, fear of getting hurt or getting heartbroken again, fear of not being good or doing enough. But that’s where WE play God. Instead of allowing us to let go of what our minds tell should be and do, and just reflect and let God be part of your life. He’s already by your side, waiting for you to receive his love. That’s the 2 powerful lessons I’ve learned.

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2 POWERFUL LESSONS I’VE LEARNED ABOUT LOVE:
Two things that withhold us from receiving God’s love is: 

1) Unworthiness
(not feeling good, not doing enough, that we aren’t enough, letting our insecurities be truth, or that we aren’t pure or good enough to deserve God’s love, that we’ve done too many bad things).

2) Fear
(Fear of not finding love again, fear of losing something, fear of not being perfect).

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And guess what. These two things are human judgements that powerfully block God from fully pouring and healing into us. It’s because WE are blocking him.

And for me, I had to lose the person that I loved the most, with my entire being, to let go of Tim, to reveal God in a powerful way. That’s the blessing in this. That’s the divine plan, to be in soul partnership with others, that our souls put us here for each other, but to hold tight to truth and the higher eternal God. That we are loved no matter what. Whether we have done relentless horrible things. There is someone who loves us through it. We just have to be able to receive that love and open our mind, to free the judgement, and open our hearts to embrace powerful shifts and opportunities that we can’t imagine or dream.

I’m thankful for this day. This anniversary. This deep soul love with Tim that endures time. This divine presence of God that pours a waterfall of grace, love and wisdom into my being. And for all the awesome, silly, challenging and unforgettable adventures to come. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeebrah!

Thank you for reading!

I invite you to share your thoughts. Or to share your love story or powerful lessons you’ve gained from letting go below in the comments or email me at info@onmyownblog.com.

Blessings + Big Hugs + Highfives,
Michelle

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HAPPY LABOR DAY WEEKEND

onmyown-bepatientHappy Labor Weekend peeps!

I’m sorry it’s been 2 full months or so since I’ve posted. I’ve focused on building my business and working on some killer clients and haven’t had time to blog. Feeling exhausted, beat down, overwhelmed, anxious, frustrated and realizing that I need to incorporate more balance. More time to honor and cherish myself. So this holiday weekend is perfect timing!

And today I’m feeling a huge wave of love and gratitude. Maybe because my birthday is on Sunday and there’s this celebratory vibe in the air.

Anyhoots, here’s a lil bit of love I’ve created above for you. When life gets hectic and uncontrollably overwhelming, remind yourself of this message above.

Sounds simple and too basic??

When you trust and have faith in something beyond yourself, you know that before good change can happen, things are usually CRAY CRAY. Be receptive during this CRAY CRAY. You probably don’t realize that life is handing you this mess so that you can see the way THROUGH it. To power through the struggle because there are wonderful lessons within it.

Yep. I know it takes time.

And its not easy.

But you are so loved through all of it.

Unconditionally. 24/7. 365 days a year.

You are awesome.

So… with that, have an awesome weekend and relax!

I’ve got friends coming into town and we are celebrating my 36 years in this world tomorrow night. I’m totally blessed and grateful for such beautiful and amazingly great friends and my family and friends that won’t be able to join in, but be there with me fully in spirit. And my soul sisters are my family, they really push and guide me to be what I sometimes can’t see in myself.

Hugs + High-fives, Michelle

 

 

 

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SHARE + INSPIRE + EMPOWER

life-begins-endWe all need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. It helps us grow. learn. Realize how amazing we are. That our challenges are opportunities. Doorways and windows to possibilities. New perspectives. Bigger lessons that we must forge through for an intentional and purposeful life. Don’t be afraid or worried what others think. Love this life you are in. It is so worth it.

Ask that guy out.

Tell your friend the truth.

Wander to a new place.

Enjoy a glass of wine at the bar alone.

Tell your boss that you’re not happy.

It’s your life, take control of it.

And don’t be so serious… make fun of yourself and laugh it off.

Image found here.

 

 

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MUSIC MONDAY. SAY HELLO TO LORDE.

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I’m totally digging this New Zealander named Lorde. She’s über talented and beautiful and just 16 years old. And when you listen to her music, you can’t believe she’s 16. I mean SERSLY!

Her music is edgy, authentic and playful. I’m digging her new album, The Love Club. But her new song, Royals was what stopped me in my tracks and got me to shazam her, when I heard it on the radio. Listen and watch below.

 

This “Royals” song by Lorde actually reminds me of Sofia Coppola’s new movie called The Bling Ring, based on true events of a group teenagers who take part in stealing from Paris Hilton and other celebrities. The movie actually has scenes actually shot in Paris Hilton’s home. The movie is an interesting twist on fame and greed. These teens become some so infatuated with celebrity luxury they turn criminal.

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Lorde images from here. Bling Ring images from here.

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COMEDIANS IN CARS GETTING COFFEE

comedians-cars-coffeeLoving this web series Jerry Seinfeld created called Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. It’s cawwfee tawlk at its best. And the good news is that each week there’s a new episode. Talk about caffeine fix.

Each video starts off with Jerry showcasing a vintage car of some sort—its like a mini commercial for each car—beautiful, tight shots of car details and Jerry cruising around town, you really fall in love with the car—and kinda forget that Jerry’s a comedian.

Then he calls up one of his comedian friends for a cruise in this fancy car. You follow them on their wild ride to get coffee and enjoy all their hilarious moments. It’s priceless.

Definitely check out my top two videos:
Gad Elmaleh (the French comedian who’s been called the Jerry Seinfeld of France)
Brian Regan (one of my favorite comedians).

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ricky-gervais-seinfeld

 

 

 

 

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