All these women are an inspiration and I truly feel beyond blessed to have all of you in my life. Sending lots of love and prayers especially to my mom, as my Grandma’s health isn’t good, and her and my Aunt are having to make uncomfortable arrangements. Also, my mom was such an unstoppable force during Tim’s roller coaster health issues a few years ago. Putting her job on hold and flying out here to take care of both Tim and myself! I’m truly blessed to have such an awesome mom.

What are your plans for Mother’s Day? Sending big hugs and lots of love to all you mothers out there. Enjoy your weekend!

Photos of my mom and grandma by me. Tim and his mom photos by Brian Finch. Scrapbook collage created by me for my mom’s 50th birthday photo book.

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For those that don’t know me well. I’m a Virgo. Have you ever read its description? We aren’t the most fun and interesting horoscope sign. This funny site, takes a twisted turn on defining Virgos, but you can get a sense on what I mean:

You are the logical type and hate disorder.
This nitpicking is sickening to your friends.
You are cold and unemotional and often
fall asleep while having sex.
Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

Sounds sexy and exciting, huh? Wow, bus driver and pimp. Thought you’d enjoy this description too. And no, this isn’t how we really are…

Well, because of my Virgo-ness of being über perfectionist, I tend to be über harsh on myself. I have high expectations for myself (not others) and I sometimes forget how far I’ve really come.

Because I’m right in the trenches of redesigning my life— strategizing and creating my own studio business, working on a few new awesome client campaigns, dating and trying to find love again, spending quality time and exercising Oliver and co-leading graphic design ministry— my plate is full. And I can overwhelm myself with all these tasks, my expectations for every bit of them, and trying to race to the finish line. And instead I need to ask myself these two important statements:

1) How grateful I am for myself

2) To know what I have accomplished (today, this week, month, year)

I thought that maybe you needed to hear this bit of wisdom too. To not be so hard on yourself. That the we need to be more grateful to ourselves. That we are creatively unique. That you are so worth it. And that life is a process. That we are ready for checking things off our lists, accomplishing big goals, and overcoming major tasks. But the more we rush and burden ourselves with doing so much in such a short time, it causes the opposite effect – we can overwhelm ourselves. That it causes burnout. Doubt. Fear. Judgement. Pain. Regret. Anxiety. Stress. Disease. Death.

Let’s try to be kinder, gentler to ourselves. To be proud of who you are. To see the beauty in the mess of life. To see failures as a source of blessing, humbling us and giving us empathy. To enjoy being comfortable with permanently being uncomfortable. That we are all a work in progress. To be present and full of intention. To see the truth of what each moment teaches us. And to let go of “perfect.”

Photo above from here

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Happy Friday peeps! One of my favorite parts of the Catalyst Conference (see my full post here) a few weeks ago was Johnnyswim.

Johnnyswim is Amanda Sudano and Abner Ramirez. She’s stunning— the daughter of Donna Summer and Bruce Sudano— and he’s quite handsome (!) and originally from Jacksonville, Florida.

They first met after Sunday service at a church in Nashville. Four years later Sudano attended a songwriting workshop held by Ramirez and became interested in writing songs with him. So frickin’ cute, right?

What I loved about them, is that they reminded me of a modern-day Johnny and June Carter Cash, but their music flirts with folk, soul and rock.

They were so flirty and engaging on-stage. Such great chemistry together, you can really tell they have a deep love and admiration for one another, and she has a fun, little sway and dance as he play guitar.

Now, go and check out this link to listen and download new music. My favorite is “Home.”

Have fun dancing to their music and enjoy your weekend. xoxo

 Photos from Johnnyswim.com. Last photo by Tec Petaja

Johnnyswim At Catalyst from Luke St. Lucas on Vimeo.

The post THE MOST BEAUTIFUL COUPLE IN MUSIC appeared first on On My Own Blog.

A few weeks ago I attended the Catalyst West Conference. Catalyst is a leadership conference filled with diverse speakers, musicians, artisans and food trucks to empower heart-centered leaders of positive change. It felt like a mini Christian-version of TED with a flavor of Coachella. I’m currently co-leading the Graphic Design ministry with Cathy  and our church invited all the ministry leaders to attend. (that’s us above in the black and white photo, the morning of the first day).

All the speakers were fantastic but here’s some you may recognize:

Jim Collins
 Tom Shadyac
Hillsong
Christine Caine
The David Crowder Band
Rainn Wilson

It was such a blast! I really enjoyed the attention to detail, it was full sensory experience, and to be surrounded by so many interesting and like-minded peeps. So much great inspiration and wisdom, my head and body ached the following day! To see my favorite stuff from the event, click here and download my Catalyst recap here: Catalyst.

The biggest thing I learned from this conference is to take our “joy” seriously. To not get caught up in being too serious, to really have fun and love what you do. That we are all in a process—we are all growing, learning, healing— and each of our individual experiences, circumstances, however painful, and full of sorrow they may be, they are for bigger lessons we must go through, to discover our purpose. We must trust in what lies ahead. We must be patient and trust that good things will come. To not strive for happiness, because that can be broken, but to be joyful, that endures. To be the love. And be the ambassador of God, so that this joy and light can be continued and embraced for generations.

We were are all in the process of being made. We were made to make a difference. 

For more info about the event check out this Catalyst Highlight video or Trip & Tyler’s Wrap Up video.

The post CATALYST WEST 2013 appeared first on On My Own Blog.

REWIND:
Last November, I attended the amazing Identity conference — which is like a mini Christian TED event — filled with inspiring, go-getters and do-getters, genuinely making positive changes in our communities and worldwide, with speakers that included Rick Warren, Promise Tangeman and Dale Partridge, among many others.

This conference was one of the catalysts that made me more determined, moving forward to be selective about the type of clients I work with and how I run my studio. That I want to collaborate and create brand campaigns that empowers and connects others with purpose, and not just design for the sake of designing. Anyways, more to share later — the deets on my biz.

I also met a super sweet and talented creative, named Josh Avis from Nicehaus. I’ve emailed him a few times and he’s always followed up and shared great design insight. I also follow his instagram.

AND NOW:
I just found out about this inspiring campaign that Sevenly launched this week, called Blessed not Burden to help support adopting children with down syndrome. Josh and his beautiful wife, Heather are proud and inspiring parents. You must watch and share the video below, and support their cause by snapping up an awesome shirt!! Go and do it!

They have adopted two wonderfully active, and fun children—Macy and Truly. And Macy has down syndrome. Josh and Heather have such a deep love— its so inspiring, contagious and empowering. They see the value in everyone. I hope to be as unconditionally loving as a mom as they are as parents.

LET’S DO SOMETHING:
We all need to remember this. To love ourself. To love others. To make the most of our life. We are so quick to judge ourselves and others. But instead we should see all our differences as blessings not burdens. So, take a minute and:

Watch this cause video

+

Share it with others

+

Buy Sevenly’s one-of-a-kind shirt
to help many others like Macy find a loving, sustaining home.

To learn more about Josh and Heather’s story, follow Heather’s blog here.

And as another awesome ironic-ness to this week and how my life is happening lately, I’m hoping to meetup with Josh and (finally meet) Heather, if time allows today or Friday at the Catalyst conference. Can’t wait to catchup with them and meet other awesome do-gooders. That’s what life is about. Connection and love.

Anyhoots, enjoy the rest of your week. xoxo

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Sending deep prayers and compassion for those in Boston. What an insane surprise attack. I turned on the TV and saw the drama blasted on all the news channels. I was in shock, as I’m sure all of you are in. A day of triumph and athleticism transformed into darkness. Can’t believe it.

This attack certainly wiped away all the silly load of things I was juggling and stressing about today. Tragedy has a way of surprising us with the evil in the world. My thoughts have been with all those affected and all those in Boston who are completely shaken up by this and still what’s unknown to come next. I don’t understand how and why these senseless acts of violence continue to occur to harmless, good people. But all I can do is pray and hope that authorities will figure this out soon. xoxo

Artwork above by DeLovely Arts.

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Here’s a few photos from my quick lil overnight getaway last weekend to La Quinta. And, boy was it warm. The photo above shows me in the hammock. And ironically, this resort is smack dab in the middle of the desert – but you can’t tell. Hah, its crazy how landscaping can fool us. My awesome friends from LA (love you Cat & Arthur) hooked me up with an awesome room at the La Quinta Resort. I was so thankful and grateful for that! What a way to relax— they’ve got 41 pools, 2 golf courses, and tons of tennis courts. It’s an insanely beautiful and historic resort, go there if you can. Great for families too! I also had time to meetup with my niece-in-law, it was so great to catchup with her too.

Ironically, this weekend everyone that’s out there in the desert is at Coachella, so hoping everyone stays hydrated! I felt like I couldn’t drink enough water when I was there . I was so parched! Chugging water in the middle of the night! Check out this link to watch or listen to all the Coachella performers live.

Sooo… enjoy the weekend my friends. What fun plans do you have for the weekend?? I hope its warming up where ever you are. Here’s photos from my solo retreat last weekend. xoxo

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Mike showcases eclectic and underrepresented music and interesting conversations with talented artists and art industry folks. A few of his recent guests included Greg Escalante, the founder of Juxtapoz magazine, and Andrew Byrom, internationally acclaimed type and graphic designer.

I love listening to Stice’s great mix of music from all the years, everything from folk to alternative to funk and rap. Lots of quality tunes that you might not have heard before.

Listen in // Mondays nights from 11p-midnight on Laguna Beach’s 93.5 fm or download the podcasts here.

The post ART RADIO appeared first on On My Own Blog.

With Spring arriving, thought this was perfect for today. Happy Friday peeps!

This inspirational short by filmmaker Louie Schwartzberg reminds us why each day in our lives is a precious gift, and that experiencing the world through gratitude can open our hearts.

I love that the filmmaker chose to document nature, and it’s because he “slowed down” with his own life that enabled him to really share how amazing nature and life is. And I’ve been acknowledging this slowing down, feeling comfort and peace with the future. My mind is more relaxed, which in turn, allows me to deepen my creative thinking.

TEDx video. Cinematography by Louie Schwartzberg, Music by Gary Malkin, written and narrated by Brother David Steindl-Rast.

The post NATURE + BEAUTY + GRATITUDE appeared first on On My Own Blog.

Today is Tim’s 43rd birthday. Let’s give a huuuuuge shout out and rockin’ high fives to celebrate the strong, fearless, genuine, goofy, energetic, quick-witted, creative and amazing warrior we knew as Tim. No tears, just an abundance of love and gratitude. That’s what he’d want.

And although we can’t see, talk and hug him — or hear his contagious laugh, we know he’s with us. My heart  feels it deeply. He’s sprinkling a lil bit of extra love and good vibes to all of us today and this week. A day to remember those enriching memories that he dutifully and enthusiastically filled into our hearts. It’s his birthday, but he was such a gift to each of us.

He reminds us to be unstoppable. To give each day our fullest. That we are each fighting and battling something. But that we’ve got to rise above, cruise above the negativity and let go. We need to be free. See the love. Be the love. And realize the bigger understanding of who we are and how to move forward.

To carry on where his life stopped. It’s about time. It’s about today. Yeeeeeeeeeeeebra!

tim-video (Enhanced) from Michelle Gutmann on Vimeo.

When time allows, take a moment to watch this video. It’s 20 minutes. Yes a bit long, and well, Tim probably wished it was longer, hah! Anyways, for those that didn’t know Tim, you’ll surely get a sense of his love for adventure and silliness.

The song that plays halfway through, “Over the Rainbow” by  Israel Kamakawiwo’ole always tears me up. It was the song I requested for our wedding day. It played as our bridesmaids and groomsmen walked down the aisle. It was the song that magically played when we were in a helicopter through all the waterfalls on our honeymoon in Maui (such an awesome wedding gift from Stice!!), and it magically played when I was in Florence, Italy last September. Tim was my dream come true. It hurts that the dream has ended. It was a “wonderful world” – those 8 years with him. But I’m stoked that Tim is “home.”  Lots and lots of love to him today, love you shugar. xoxo

Photos above by me // Top: Maui on our honeymoon, Middle: Portland, Bottom: Australia, Gold Coast. 

The post AN UNSTOPPABLE SOUL: HAPPY BDAY TIM appeared first on On My Own Blog.

Soo, you may have noticed that I’ve updated the look of this blog. I’ve been going through a transformation personally and felt the blog should as well.

I’m still on this wave. The wave of life, but I’m feeling good. I don’t have all the answers. I don’t exactly know the plan. But I’m more focused, full of love, trusting in above and loving today. This is not easy. We are a society used to being pulled in so many directions.

In Chinese Zodiac, we are in the Year of the Snake and it happens to be my animal sign. To find out yours, go to this chinese calendar. The year of snake is filled with slow and methodical progress.

And I’m going through that transformation, like a snake. I’m ready to shed part of myself, like a snake sheds his skin. I’m still me. But wanting to showcase myself as more than a “young widow.” And the previous design, well, it yelled “young widow.” At the time, when I created the blog. That’s what I wanted. I wanted empathy and a voice for those going for that loss and death.

I’m evolving and so is this blog. I’m a creative who wants to enrich people’s lives. My ultimate goal is to be a “Creative Humanitarian.” Not sure if that’s a legit title, but it sounds deep and fun to me. And yes, I’ve got quite an endeavor ahead before I earn that title.

And I think I couldn’t have realized this new direction, had it not been for my circumstance. God smacked me down, and I totally surrendered. Tim had to surrender too. And dang, it wasn’t easy/ isn’t easy to surrender.

Anyhoots, I’m so excited about the direction and new design for this blog. Please click-through the pages. I’m still tweaking with “resources.”

Here are some of the new updates. Let me know what you think. And if you have suggestions, comments or requests, please comment below or email me.

Thank you! xo

The post WORK IN PROGRESS appeared first on On My Own Blog.

This song (play it below) came to me today, and I’ve been playing AND dancing nonstop! Play this loud and dance around. Trust me, you’ll feel so good.

I’ve had so many discussions in the past few days about “LOVE”. Not just love in relationships or a soulmate, but what I love, love with life, career, personal things, God, etc.

That love is bigger than just a word. It’s a verb, a way of life.

Instead of a life-style, we are in a LOVE-style. A love story. A story that is bigger than we can imagine.

So, these past few days, I’ve been formulating my business plan and in reality I’ve defined (am still defining) my plan for love and happiness. Or at least, I’ve defined my priorities, and making sure my career, life, love, and etc sync with this.

Cuz as we know, life doesn’t go as planned. I’m a witness to this. Heartbreaking reality of that!

But, I’ve forced myself to slow down and focus. And it feels good. Feelin’ that love from the universe. MMM-hmmm!

And I couldn’t have realized or done this many months ago or a year ago, too much in the widow fog, feeling lost, deep heartbreaking pain. And still demanding answers to the “WHYs.”

Anyways, I know we go through waves of emotions and thoughts of what the future will be, why certain things happened, etc. But realize that allowing yourself to slow down — to stop and pause — that all the other distractions that tug at our lives, you’ll realize what’s really important.

To Feel Love. Maybe you’ll call it Self Love. Loving others. Loving what you do. But you are unconditionally and always loved. And you are the beholder/vessel/giver/ mirror of love.

And as an ending lil nugget… someone wise once told me, to be an influence of change, just smile.

The post SLOW DOWN + FEEL LOVE appeared first on On My Own Blog.

This is a shot from my Paris trip this last September. Amazing trip and I’m still transported to that blissful adventure when I look through my photos. I still need to share these with you too!!!

So, looking at this photo, I wanted to share this and a realization.

We are all going bananas. Or should I say… Bahh-naaaan-uuuuuzz.

Trying to keep up. Conquer our deadlines, tasks, errands. Taking care of our loved ones (maybe kiddos, pets, spouses), trying to be successful, juggle everything, keep up with who’s and who’s and what’s and what, catchup on all those DVR’d shows, and you name it. But we’ve lost the bit of time for ourselves. To honor our awesomeness. To look inward and realize, that you can’t do it all. You’re human, but not superhuman.

Soooo, this is my lil short and sweet moment, to thank you for being you. This is a moment for you to take 3 deep breaths. (hint: follow the above poster). And to be grateful for what you have. And to say… ahhh yeah to this day.

To move forward with a bit of intention. A bit of gratitude. A bit of spring in your step. A bit of “make it work, honey.” Here’s to loving yourself. Trying to get through your life sitchy and realizing that in time things will get better.

Sources: Breathe poster

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Yesterday I celebrated Oliver’s 7th birthday. Woof Woof! To the Best. Dog. Ever.

I treated him like a proud and happy momma does. Took him to his favorite beach. Threw the ball until he was luggage. Then took him home (after a good dog wash, of course, no sand in my house!) and, gave him lots of yummy treats, and big smoochers. Even gave him a spoon full of peanut butter!

And then… I might have gone a lil crazy and decorated him with birthday garlands. Yep, he gave me the evil eyeballs with that, but he got extra treats. And  geesh, it was the first time I’d ever celebrated his birthday. And he deserved some fun and festive-ness.

On mornings when I’m not eager for his runs or walks, or when I’ve come home and realize this situation isn’t what we both planned, he is ALWAYS wiggles and love. I’m so thankful and invigorated by him. He truly is my light. My light with four legs.

Four-five months after Tim passed away, I found out that Oliver had cancer tumors that had to be removed. After a hefty vet bill, the vet said he’d have at least 4 more years. I was heartbroken. I wasn’t ready for him to go yet, but thankfully, Oliver’s still got plenty of time. It was just another wake up call, that we should never take our loved ones for granted.

It’s so easy to get caught up in our busy, busy routines and lives. Work is always nagging. Tons of excuses. Tons of distractions. Whatever it may be. But cherish and honor the time you have with friends, family, husbands/wives, mates, etc.

I’ve made a promise to consciously enjoy my time with Oliver. To relish it. His bouncing energy is so uplifting and hilarious. He constantly makes me smile, even when I’m in a bad mood, stressed out, or feeling lonely. His unconditional sweetness and goofiness, is such a gift.

So with that, here’s photos and Video from our fun-filled morning.

And then… I had to try party hats and garlands.

And the best for last…

Thanks Jollie Ollie, for making my life awesome! xoxo

The post DOG DAY OF WINTER: OLIVER’S BIRTHDAY appeared first on On My Own Blog.

I’m completely in love with this jewelry from Biko. I was first struck by the styling of simple makeup, the subtle graphic blouse, torn jeans, and overlay photography, but its her jewelry that really got me. It’s classy yet edgy. I found out about her stuff from Scout & Catalogue. I love the mystery and astrological feel of Biko’s Spring/Summer 2013 Collection. See more here.

The post ELECTRIC SOLSTICE appeared first on On My Own Blog.

Watching the Oscar Awards this past Sunday night with my girlfriends was such a treat, but the one thing that struck my curiosity was the documentary short movie called Inocente, and the beautiful girl in the white dress above.

I didn’t know about this movie prior to the award show and I haven’t seen it fully yet, but its a movie that will truly inspire and empower you.

Her circumstances do not define her.
Her dreams do.
The movie was shot mostly in San Diego and focuses on 12 year old, homeless teen, Inocente Izucar, when she started attending the San Diego Organization ARTS: A Reason to Survive. She is now 19 and shares her story of her unstoppable creativity in the midst of her dark and troubled homeless family-life.

The film, along with all the other nominated shorts (live action, animated and documentary) can be seen at Landmark Theaters at least through this Thursday. Take advantage of the opportunity!

Besides winning an Oscar, it’s the first Kickstarter-backed film to win an Academy Award, raising $52,527 from 294 backers last summer.

“Not only are you raising funds for your film, but you’re building a community and an audience and people that care about the film,” Andrea Nix Fine said backstage after winning the Academy Award. “They’re watching tonight, and you know they flipped out when the film won. So that feels great.”

Check out the film // View more of Inocente’s art // or Get involved and check out these links:

MALDEF | the nation’s leading Latino legal civil rights organization

ARTS | A Reason to Survive

Student Voices Campaign | The California Arts Alliance

Shine Global | Non-profit dedicated to ending child abuse and exploitation through the production of documentary films and media products that raise awareness and inspire change.

Image sources: Oscar photo // Film photos by Sean Fine // Artwork photos

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One of my favorite comedians is Jim Gaffigan.

He has such a great ability to make the most average things hilarious— I’ve laughed so hard, I’ve been in tears.

You might have watched these popular routines Hot Pockets, Bacon, Cake, or Jesus.

Below is a video from his newest DVD, Mr Universe, which is only $5 and $1 of that goes to the Bob Woodruff Foundation, helping veterans and their families.

Photo above from here

The post HAPPY FUN LOVE: JIM GAFFIGAN appeared first on On My Own Blog.

For those that aren’t  matched up with someone today (and c’mon dogs, cats, and other animals are included but NOT the same!), please remember that YOU ARE SO LOVED.

It took me awhile to really have that INNER love for myself. It’s easy to take care of your exterior self— you can put on a nice outfit, get a good haircut, etc. But to truly have and feel inner love and confidence, is much harder and takes work. Yep, I’m still a work in progress.

And you can’t compare yourself with others. Just love what you’ve got! I’ve realized this, and once you let go of all your inner voices telling you other nasty things, it is quite awesome and amazing. In fact, you will be much calmer, stronger and happier. And doesn’t that look sexy?

And what are my plans? I’m actually going to a “single” mingle event tonight. I know, it’s kinda silly and cheesy. But why the heck not? I’m feeling flirty and Mr. Soulmate isn’t knocking on my door. And I’m actually more excited about my weekend plans with my “soul” sister Dana – wine, mani/pedis, comedy show, talking about men, life and lots of laughing.

Enjoy these creative bits from the book, You Are So Loved by Chronicle Books.

Happy Valentine’s and enjoy today! What do you have planned today or this weekend? xoxo

Image sources: We Are Alive / We Are All Apart of the Same Thing / I Can’t Do This / Magic

The post HAPPY VALENTINE’S LOVELIES appeared first on On My Own Blog.

For me, 2013 really feels like a new beginning.

So I realize most people talk about resolutions in January. Then February comes and it’s like… what resolutions. Ehhh.

BUT, for me. I’m so amped up for 2013. I’m ready for this year. Ready to make things happen. That sense of sooo many things at once. Part joy. Part fear. So many things I want to do and accomplish.

Last year was an intense and confusing year on my own. Trying to figure out myself and this new journey. Who I was. What I was meant to do. What path or paths I should take. I was depressed. I was overwhelmed. I was ready to slow down and have peace in my heart.

That I was letting my past prevent me from healing and MOVING FORWARD. To take responsibility for doing the creative best in my own life. Here’s two ways I’ve kickstarted my year.

Fun + inspiring exercises to supercharge things for 2013:

1) Create a vision board

> Grab magazines

> Cut out photos and words that represent what you and things you want to happen for 2013

> Resolutions, goals, etc of what you want to manifest this year

> Collage all these things together

> Display this vision board artwork so you will see it everyday.

The above image is my vision board. In December, I sat down to create my vision for 2013. I was so ready for a new start. My goal for this year is this circle of happiness — to balance career, life and love. To find my second soul mate. To work on creative and fulfilling projects. Go to interesting places. Create a community that empowers. When I feel confused or doubt myself, this vision board serves as a good inspiration to stay focused. To not lose faith in myself and to have patience with timing.

2) Next, choose a word

- Something to ignite and represent your vision for this year

- I got this idea via Susannah Conway. See her blog for more insight and ideas

My word is flirt. I chose this for its playful approach. I want to be brave and open-minded this year as I flirt (maybe dance) into different arenas of my life — leading my design business, transforming my home, meeting new people, learning new skills, taking care of my health, and having fun.

So what’s your vision and/ or word for 2013? I’d love to hear from you.

The post VISION FOR 2013 appeared first on On My Own Blog.

Ever since I got an email from Dersu Rhodes over at Witness-This blog last year, I’ve been a fan. He randomly found this blog and complimented my efforts. I love hearing from readers, as I’m surprised when non-friends and family reach out.

Dersu is a talented creative. And the Witness-This blog team always brings an interesting mix of cool/sexy/edgy/fresh photography, culture, fashion, and music for their viewers.

I’d like to share these 2 mixes, Dusk and Dawn by the super talented FreshandSunny from this Golden Hour post. The Dusk mix has been on my repeat and thought you’d like this just as much as me. Enjoy this rainy (or cold) wintry weekend with some fun beats.

Visit FreshandSunny’s Soundcloud to download both mixes for free.

DUSK:

DAWN:

Artwork above by Dersu Rhodes

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